


Image Is Everything

by Nocturnal



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Crack, M/M, cross-dressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 02:00:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3511019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nocturnal/pseuds/Nocturnal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya has a thing for crossdressing. One fine day he is strutting his stuff in a fashionable dress when he meets Shizuo who fails to recognize him. Realizing that Shizuo thinks that he is a hot girl, Izaya decides to troll him for all he's worth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Image Is Everything

At first, Izaya had taken crossdressing as one of those very short-lived hobbies of his. He was still in high school when one fine day he spotted a very nifty red piece as he strolled around Harajuku. It caught his attention immediately and somehow buying a dress was not that great of a stretch when you spent so much time impersonating a girl anyway. It was only when he tried it on, a thrill of excitement running through him, that Izaya realized that he was hooked for life. The dress clung to just the right places and accentuated the elegant curves of his body. To this day he still kept it for sentimental reasons even though his taste was so much more sophisticated now.

And that was partially due to Vogue and in no small measure to Anna Wintour. The woman knew how to pull off fur brilliantly and her fashion sense was impeccable. One thing he admired were her shades and every other day Izaya would purchase new sunglasses that he of course wore indoors. He usually stopped short of getting a bob hairdo but today he was feeling adventurous so he put on his sleek black wig along with his newest full length dark Armani jacket with a stylish bit of fur on the lapel, cuffs and fringe, it was a perfect match for his slightly shiny Trussardi jeans and Jimmy Choo heels.

Izaya checked the mirror and he was off to strut his stuff. As fate would have it, he found the last person he expected to ever find in a store for brand sunglasses. Heiwajima Shizuo scratched his head as he stared at the shelves with a blank stare that proved what Izaya already knew: Shizuo was fashion challenged. Who else would wear a bartender outfit on every single occasion, Izaya wondered.

The only fashionable decision Shizuo had ever taken in his whole life was dyeing his hair blonde. It gave him a certain edge, Izaya thought, and if Shizuo remained silent and stood aloof with a trademark cigarette tucked at the corner of his mouth, he might very well pass for the stoic kind with hints of cop-gone-bad from a Noir movie. Unfortunately all this allure vanished the moment he began talking. The illusion was then shattered completely. Izaya was considering such things as he approached Shizuo without getting too close so that he could keep an eye on him without it becoming too obvious.

Shizuo noticed a pretty girl standing a few feet from him. He did not handle pretty girls well. First, he became nervous and nothing even remotely coherent occurred to him, to the point that apart from his brother's movies no topic of conversation ever came to mind and then he got angry at himself for being so awkward at which point it all went to hell. Next thing he knew there were vending machines flying, people hurtling through the air, plenty of screaming and general panic. By the time he came to his sense, the girl in question was long gone, or cowering in a corner, or in the hospital.

This particular girl had a presence to her. She stood confidently as she expertly tried on pairs of sunglasses all of which suited her somewhat familiar face. Shizuo could tell that she was classy, too. In a word, she was completely beyond his league. Which was part of the reason why he found himself casting furtive glances in her direction, it was a bit like staring at a billboard.

Shizuo was not the most discreet of people, to put it mildly. Izaya could positively feel him checking him out. If eyes could eat than Izaya was being devoured and enjoying it greatly. Izaya bridged the distance between them and addressed him with a curt but very polite voice:

"Are you looking for something in particular?"

  
Shizuo jumped and fumbled some.

  
"Er, no, not really. My brother recommended this store, he told me I should get some sunglasses to improve my image, I guess. I'm not too good when it comes to fashion."  
Izaya was very amused. Shizuo had not recognized him and he was getting a kick out of this unexpected bashfulness.

  
"Is that so?"

  
"Yeah. I mean, yes."

  
"May I suggest something?"

  
Izaya did not wait for a reply. He reached for a pair of narrow light blue-tinted shades.

  
"Sure. But aren't those, you know…a bit girly?"

  
Izaya held the glasses by the rims and placed them on Shizuo.

  
"You already seem the very manly type. What you need is something contemporary to attenuate the general impression of roughness."

  
"Oh. I see."

  
It was clear as water that Shizuo did not at all see but this was the first time a stunning girl was giving him the time of day. Izaya watched him thoughtfully. Shizuo did look very hot despite the clueless blinking.

  
"What do you think? Do you like them?"

  
Shizuo nodded even if he was unsure about the whole deal.

  
"They're cool."

  
"The light color doesn't hide your eyes and the shape is very modern."

  
"I'll take them, thanks for choosing them for me."

  
Fortunately Kasuka had given him enough money to buy the most expensive glasses available so that he did not have to even check the price. He hoped that it might impress her.

  
"No need to thank it. It is my duty in life to improve the image of those around me in order to bring more beauty to the world."

  
They headed for the counter, Izaya having picked his new glasses (square ones with tiny pieces of bling that were sparkly enough to catch the attention without being too sparkly to count as vaudeville) and Shizuo found himself panicking slightly. He should ask for her number but it might seem presumptuous on his part, he could always give her his number instead but he knew she would never call and doing both was a recipe for disaster. His mind was drawing a depressing blank. Meanwhile Izaya was talking.  
"I have more shopping to do now. It's a shame I always end up carrying many bags when I go on a spree."

  
Shizuo perked up immediately.

  
"Want some help with that? I can carry your stuff, no problem. I'm petty strong- if I may say so myself."

  
"Really?"

  
Izaya lowered his shades and looked him up and down with the deliberate slowness of evaluation. Anna Wintour would have approved.

  
"Yeah."

  
Shizuo smiled a very goofy smile that reminded Izaya of a pet shop puppy trying to beguile a potential owner with his cuteness.

  
"Alright. You're approved."

  
They made their way down the fashion district.

  
"I'm Heiwajima Shizuo, by the way."

  
As soon as the words left his lips, Shizuo regretted them. What if she had heard about him, most people had, which was why they tended to flee screaming as soon as they heard his name even when he had done nothing. It made getting a girlfriend exceedingly difficult.

  
"I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

  
Shizuo beamed.

  
"What's your name?"

  
Izaya gave him a stern stare.

  
"I do not liberally reveal my name to people I hardly know."

  
Normally Shizuo would take offense but it sounded very bitchty in a sexy way. Ice queens were the best.

  
"That's okay. If you get tired, I can carry you as well."

  
Izaya had to look at him to realize that Shizuo was indeed naïve enough to offer this without any second intentions. Not conscious ones, at least. Since strength was the one thing Shizuo knew he was great at (terrifying people did not exactly count) and he was bent on exploiting it.

  
"My legs serve me perfectly, thank you. They are not just for show."

  
This actually led to Shizuo looking at said limbs. Men in general were predictable and Shizuo was no master of subtlety. Izaya hit a bunch of stores in a row and bought his day outfits first. For his night look he had something particular in mind. And it was always better when there was an audience to dazzle. Bonus points if that just happened to be a thoroughly deluded Shizuo. Izaya slipped into a silver gown covered with minute sequins that shimmered all the way to his feet. It was low cut at the back, sleeveless and with a discreet but very present slit. He exited the changing booth with his best catwalk amble which, truth be told, was perfect.

  
Shizuo was just waiting and he gasped audibly as soon as he spotted the beautiful girl in the revealing outfit. Izaya allowed himself a thin smile and turned around in front of the mirror.

  
"I gather that the dress has your approval."

  
Shizuo nodded enthusiastically. He hoped he wasn't drooling too much.

  
"Yeah, totally."

  
Izaya walked slowly in front of the mirror, the metallic trail flowing on his wake.

  
"You can't tell what clothes will do for your body until you see them in motion. Proportion is also important."

  
"Yeah, proportion."

  
Shizuo supposed that it had something to do with the length of garments but it was a very vague idea to him. As far as he knew, shorter was better.

  
"You could do with some new clothes yourself."

  
Izaya fanned himself with a silver trimmed fan.

  
"But- my brother got this for me. My brother's really neat, he's starred in a bunch of movies. You've probably seen him-"

  
"It is a sign of great personal weakness to blab continuously about other people other than oneself."

  
Shizuo was greatly impressed despite being scolded. In fact, probably because he was being scolded.

  
"But I'm friends with him…"

  
Izaya crossed his eyes and raised a single eyebrow.

  
"And I am friends with my diamond necklaces yet I do not spend my entire time talking about them."

  
Shizuo was of the opinion that pretty jewelry was sexy. High class girls were a on a whole different level than those Shizuo was used to.

  
"I see."

  
"Fashion is not about being 'pretty', it's about making yourself as in conformity with what the situation demands without compromising your own personal identity."

  
Shizuo blinked. He was not at all following but he had to say something that sounded clever or at least not as stupid as he felt himself to currently be.

  
"Oh, right. It's like that."

  
Shizuo kicked himself inwardly. It was unfair that he lacked social skills and doubly unfair that this became tenfold more pronounced when attractive females were involved.

Izaya was beyond amused. This was the sweetest revenge for all those times that vending machine almost hit him.

  
"In other words, unless you are cosplaying or actually working at a bar, it is absolutely criminal to walk around in that outfit."

  
No one had ever dared speak to Shizuo in such terms.

  
"It's the only one I got…my brother got a bunch of these for me."

  
Izaya dramatically waved his precious fan with an elegant flourish.

  
"Does your big brother also tell you what to think and change your diapers?"

  
Shizuo colored to the roots of his hair. The only thing that occurred to him did not even counter Izaya's main point, if anything it made it more blatant:

  
"He's my younger brother…"

  
Which Izaya knew very well.

  
"That even makes it more pathetic. See my nails?"

  
Izaya displayed his manicured left hand and fanned himself with the other.

  
"They look nice."

  
"I know that. My younger sisters do my nails for me. And they also serve me tea at 5 pm sharp with a special assortment of baked goods that I had them learn how to make for my enjoyment."

  
The nail part was indeed true, the rest was unfortunately wishful thinking. Shizuo, to whom standing out to one's siblings was almost unheard of, realized he quite liked this tyrannical streak. He would be hard-pressed to ever admit it but Shizuo's choice in porn included whip-wielding dominatrixes in kinky leather things.

  
"I once almost threw a fridge at him."

  
"Oh? If you do that to the people you love, I can't even begin to imagine how you treat your enemies."

  
Shizuo shuffled ever so uncomfortably. This conversation was derailing and somehow he found himself returning to a rather hateful topic.

  
"I don't like it when people walk over me. Especially Orihara Izaya. One of these days I'll catch him and wring his neck like he deserves."

  
Izaya humphed icily.

  
"You command enemies by gaining their respect. And then you break them completely by destroying them from within."

  
It just happened that Izaya was in the process of doing just that. Shizuo was nearly floored by this amazingly wicked point of view.

  
"I never thought about it like that."

  
Izaya suspected that Shizuo never did think.

  
"If you want to show that you're a capable individual then you will allow me to give you a complete makeover."

  
"Okay!"

  
Izaya smiled. This was too good. Not only could he mess up with Shizuo as there was the bonus of ruffling Kasuka's feathers, which served them both perfectly right as far as Izaya was concerned.

  
"By the way, if you dirty my clothes I'll rip out your balls."

  
Shizuo also believed her on this. Izaya leant next to Shizuo without being in his firing range, so to speak. He was almost as turned on by this but he had something called self-control which Shizuo clearly lacked. Which made toying with him so much better.

  
"Do you want to come?"

  
Shizuo nodded enthusiastically. Not even sex was this excruciatingly good. Izaya tsked, his tongue clicking loudly.

  
"How am I supposed to know if you don't tell me? And can I call you Shizu-chan?"

  
Shizuo could not see her all that well directly since she was no longer in front of him but there were mirrors all around that allowed him to admire her curves that the coat hardly concealed.

  
"…yes."

  
"Yes to what?"

  
"Both…make me come, please."

  
Izaya licked his ear and tugged his hard dick.

  
"How polite of you, Shizu-chan."

  
He stressed the last syllable by making it very raspy. Izaya moved his fist up and down and used his free hand to twist one of Shizuo's erect nipples. This was wonderful as it was but Izaya was not satisfied. So he produced a lipstick from a pocket and licked it. Then he added ghost gestures to Shizuo's buttocks and casually dropped,

  
"This may hurt just a tad so be a man about it."

  
And with this he unceremoniously pushed the lipstick past his anus and firmly into his body. Shizuo hissed and his eyes almost watered. Super strength or not, this was painful in more ways than one.

  
"That hurts…"

  
"So much for being a man. I am disappointed in you."

  
Shizuo swallowed and decided to endure it. After all, while it did hurt, his hard-on was unflagging and he was just as needy as before if not more. Izaya pulled the lipstick out then slammed it straight into Shizuo's weak spot, white pleasure unhinging his knees so that he slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor.

  
"What- what was that?"

  
Izaya smiled wickedly.

  
"You need a few biology lessons. Mainly about the positioning of the prostrate. Now get on all fours like the mutt you are."

  
This was taking a risk, Izaya was aware of it, but nothing really worth gaining existed without a certain measure of risk. As it turned out, Shizuo was already far too gone to even protest and he obediently assumed the position. Izaya knelt by him and slowly pumped him as he worked the lipstick in and out. Needless to say he always opted for the long type of lipstick that could go all the way where it needed to go if needed. Impromptu dildos were a proof of his creativity.

  
"That's good- I had no idea-"

  
Shizuo could not even begin to put it into a coherent sentence. He wanted to fuck her, he wanted it so badly that it hurt but he had been beaten into submission so flawlessly that he did not dare even try it.

  
"How sad that you are so ignorant about your own body."

  
Shizuo pushed back, he needed the intrusion to hit him deeper. He rocked into Izaya's expert hold, moans that he did not even recognize as his, escaping his parted lips.  
"All men are the same down deep. Shizu-chan, I'll let you come…if you kiss my new Prada shoes."

  
Izaya moved in front of Shizuo and displayed a pretty buckled high heel boot. For a split second he considered kicking Shizuo. But then lips were pressed on his shoe in a kiss and Izaya had to repress a fit of giggles. This was absolutely too good to be true.

  
"Good boy. I'll give you your treat, then."

  
Izaya got him on his knees and took his hard member into his mouth, pushing the lipstick as he did so. The wet warmth was too much for Shizuo's already tattered control to handle and he came in Izaya's mouth, releasing his full load inside and rolling his eyes as the hard tip inside him re-ignited his orgasm. While he was still panting, she locked lips with him and slipped him his own semen, all salty and mixed with saliva. Shizuo swallowed it without as much as a thought.

  
Izaya got up and wiped his lips from any traces of white liquid.

  
"You didn't expect me to swallow it myself, now did you? How vulgar. Get changed, I'll be back shortly. I have matters to attend to." These matters pertained to a certain tightness below the waist that had to be relieved soon. Izaya almost entered the men's bathroom but he did correct the mistake before it became drastic. He closed the stall's door behind him and worked himself fast. Not very ladylike but some sacrifices had to be made for the greater good. Izaya came fast and silently, milking himself for all it was worth and basking in a delicious afterglow for a while. He then wiped clean the remains of the deed, put on a new pair of panties since the old ones were a bit damp (he always carried an extra pair in his purse, just in case) and added some gloss to his lips. Izaya waited until he was as composed as he knew Anna would approve and then returned to the store where Shizuo was fully dressed but still blushing and dazed.

  
Izaya adjusted Shizuo's new clothes and paid for them while Shizuo mumbled something that did not make much sense anyway. Izaya was wondering what to do next when Shizuo spotted a very familiar face. Finally, here was an opportunity to prove himself.

  
"Kasuka! Hi there! Oh, this is my brother, the one I told you about. And this is-"

  
Izaya pulled Shizuo into a deep kiss, keeping eye contact with dear little brother.

  
"Orihara Izaya."

  
Shizuo blinked and looked around.

  
"Where?"

  
Kasuka deadpanned and pointed at Shizuo's companion. Shizuo blinked some more.

  
"I don't follow…"

  
This time around Izaya did burst out laughing in his typical Izaya-insane way.

  
"Oh dear, guess I just can't fool the smarter brother. Or is it the least dim? Same thing, really!"

  
With a flourish Izaya removed his sunglasses and smirked happily. Shizuo turned a sickish shade of ash-grey.

  
"Oh…shit"

  
"Indeed, Shizu-chan! I can call you Shizu-chan, right? Since we're on such intimate terms now? Besides, you told me you could just a while ago…and you're not fickle, now are you? Wait, you probably don't know what 'fickle' means.  Just ask your brother, he should know."

  
Shizuo stuttered, blushed anew, stuttered some more than at length managed,

  
"You- you- Izaya, you fucking louse, I'm gonna kill you! Got that?"

  
"Yeah, yeah, so what else is new. No wait, having you on all fours while I fuck you with lipstick is pretty different from the usual routine."

  
Shizuo turned to his brother who remained as deadpan as ever.

  
"He's lying! Really!"

  
"Kasuka-chan, your big brother is more of a sub than anything else. Bet you didn't know that. And I got to him first. Shizu-chan, I'm almost family so I'm -chan'ing your dear brother as well!"

  
Shizuo tried a desperate measure.

  
"Kasuka, who are you going to believe? Your big brother or this flea maggot that is- a bloody louse!"

  
"Being redundant there, Shizu darling."

  
Kasuka added in his flattest tone which was very flat indeed:

  
"This is why I changed my name, Shizuo. Try not to embarrass me further. And Orihara-san, going after Shizuo is too easy."

  
"Kasuka!"

  
Izaya piped in unison.

  
"'Kasuka'! And now I must leave you wonderful siblings to sort out thing for themselves as it is almost 5 and my sisters expect me for tea. Oh and by the way, I got the security camera footage and I'll make sure the world sees it. I owe it to...mankind! Watch out, kid brother. Shizu-chan has more talent than you and guess what! He has more than one expression! Au revoir, my Heiwajima pretties!"

  
Shizuo sobbed. He did not even have the heart to chase Izaya who left on a flashy red limousine that apparently he had at his beck and call. Shizuo could not win. That much was obvious. At length, Kasuka spoke.

  
"I guess it's true what they say. Image is everything."  
And so it was.

   
**The End.**  
 


End file.
